I’ve wanted to be a novelist for as long as I can remember. But not just any novelist—I wanted to be a great novelist. A novelist whose debut is an instant hit. Whose books get turned into blockbusters. A New York Times Bestselling novelist.
Yeah, I know. Big dreams.
Daunting dreams.
Seemingly impossible dreams…
Ever have those days when you have so much to do that you get overwhelmed and don’t do any of it?
That was about where I was with my writing. If I couldn’t produce a stunning bestseller on my first draft, then maybe I shouldn’t even try. As a result, I didn’t spend time writing. I spent time wishing. Not super useful or productive, believe it or not.
I needed a paradigm shift.
In my current job, we hold quarterly reviews. During those reviews, we set goals for what we want to accomplish in the upcoming three months. I discovered I love setting goals, and I am a very goal-oriented person.
Around the time I started my new job, I also heard a piece of advice that changed my life. It came from Rachel Hollis’s book, Girl, Wash Your Face. One of the lies she talks about is how often we say, “I’ll start tomorrow.”
When we tell ourselves we’ll accomplish something tomorrow (go for a run, start eating better, write for an hour) and then we don’t do it, we condition our brains to not believe it. She talked about how often we break promises to ourselves when we don’t do what we say. I resolved to set reasonable goals for myself, and then keep those promises to myself by doing what I tell myself I’ll do.
This means if I say I’m going to write 1,000 words tomorrow, I’m going to do it. On the other hand, I’m not going to say I’ll write 10,000 words tomorrow because I won’t do it, then I’ll get discouraged.
So, with all that swirling around in my brain, I decided if I was serious about becoming a published novelist, I needed to set a reasonable goal for myself, give myself enough time to do it, and then hold myself accountable.
My reasonable goal: Get a rejection letter from an agent.
In order to get that rejection, I’d have to complete a novel, edit and revise it, and figure out how the heck to submit something like that. It was a big task. But getting a rejection seemed so much more doable than becoming an instant bestseller.
In setting this goal, I decided I’d give myself as much time as I needed—if that meant a whole year or even a little longer, so be it. I wasn’t sure how long it would take to write and edit a novel. As an editor, I knew I’d be a stickler for my story, and I wouldn’t send anything to an agent that I didn’t deem good enough. That would take some serious time. And that was going to have to be okay.
I’d set weekly or even daily writing goals, and I’d give myself grace if I didn’t meet them—I work full-time and sometimes life just happens. There were times when I did not promise myself I’d write every day for a week because I knew it wouldn’t happen. By setting and meeting reasonable goals, I felt more motivated. And I knew if I fell off the wagon, I just had to get back on.
I started at the beginning of 2020. The story I started was one that had been dancing around in my brain for a few years. During the summer of 2019, I spent a decent chunk of time writing scenes and plot points. I had a good start. But it needed a lot of work. For the next several months, I wrote and rewrote. Researched and rewrote some more.
At this point, I had a few novels under my belt—which is a pretty good accomplishment! By “novels,” I mean novel-length manuscripts with a beginning, middle, and end. For one of those stories, I even did a substantial rewrite.
But in June 2020, I did something that took my manuscript to the next level.
I sent it to beta readers—readers who would review my draft and give me feedback.
My wonderful mother has read all my previous work, and she graciously agreed to become the “alpha reader” for my latest story. She and I talked about making the story better. She’s an avid reader and had lots of valuable opinions on the plot, the pacing, the characters, etc.
But I needed more opinions than just hers.
I reached out to trusted friends, family members, and acquaintances who are smart, have diverse tastes in books, and would give me an honest opinion.
I drafted a letter to them calling out specific things to look for and imploring them to be brutally honest. For weeks, I waited on pins and needles and forced myself not to click on the emailed notifications that “Beta Reader has added suggestions to your document.”
It was terrifying, yet exhilarating.
Then, once each reader finished, I went through the edits and asked if I could call to ask follow-up questions. On the phone, I’d drill down on the things that I thought were weak. What did you think of this scene? Tell me about your thoughts on these characters? Did this make sense? Was this too slow?
Everyone was insightful and to my eternal gratitude, they called out what they didn’t like.
I thought this scene didn’t make a lot of sense. I don’t think the character would have done this. This section was kind of boring.
With all of that feedback, I rewrote. Then I sent it to another group of readers to do it all over again. All the while, I was my own editor. I love reading and now I analyze how other writers write. If something bugs me in a book, I make sure I don’t do it in mine.
It was a tedious process. I changed big parts of the story, which sometimes felt painful when I cut tens of thousands of words. I refined and refined.
Towards the end of the process, I started researching agents. That was an adventure and challenge itself! I made myself a list of agents that I thought could be a good fit for my story. I researched how to write a query letter.
Then, on March 5, 2021, just over a year from when I set my goal, I sent my first query to an agent. And then I cried. All of the work accumulated to that moment. If the agent loved it, that would be amazing. But if she didn’t, well, I met my goal. It was further than I had ever gotten before.
It was a win either way.
Over the next few weeks, I submitted to a total of eight agents. Seven of them sent me a rejection.
So in other words… I completed my goal several times over!
Yes, it’s disappointing. Yes, it would have been wonderful to have an agent ask to read the manuscript. But it’s okay. I still completed my goal. I learned so much. So, so much. I feel more confident as a fiction writer. I’m not discouraged. I’m going to keep trying. And I’m working on a new story now, too.
My next goal: you’re reading it! In addition to writing new stories, I’m working on my online presence as a writer with this blog.
I’ll keep querying and keep getting rejections, I’m sure. And I’ll keep setting new goals. One goal has gotten me pretty far already.
Writing a novel is hard. Becoming a published novelist is even harder—as I’m learning. It’s going to be a process, but I’ve decided to enjoy the journey.
